#AmReading YA

When You Were Everything
Ashley Woodfolk
Age/Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary
Publisher: Delacorte Press
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Goodreads

You can't rewrite the past, but you can always choose to start again.

It’s been twenty-seven days since Cleo and Layla’s friendship imploded.

Nearly a month since Cleo realized they’ll never be besties again.

Now, Cleo wants to erase every memory, good or bad, that tethers her to her ex–best friend. But pretending Layla doesn’t exist isn’t as easy as Cleo hoped, especially after she’s assigned to be Layla’s tutor. Despite budding new friendships with other classmates—and a raging crush on a gorgeous boy named Dom—Cleo’s turbulent past with Layla comes back to haunt them both.

Alternating between time lines of Then and Now, When You Were Everything blends past and present into an emotional story about the beauty of self-forgiveness, the promise of new beginnings, and the courage it takes to remain open to love.

Layla entered her life at time when Cleo really needed her, and now, as her family was falling apart, she was gone. Once she was Cleo's everything, but now, they were veritable strangers.

I am so happy to be seeing more and more of these friend breakup stories. I bet many people have experienced a painful end to what they thought was a lifelong relationship, and therefore, many will be able to relate to what Cleo was going through. In fact, my heart ached, often, as I read this book, because I have been there, and it wasn't any easier watching it happen to someone else.

Cleo was this "old soul", who I instantly loved. She adored The Bard, and was often found listening to classic jazz due to the influence of her beloved grandmother. Cleo was happy living in her bubble with Layla, but unfortunately, Layla was changing, and wanted to expand her social circle. This was a case of two people growing apart, and though there's no crime in that, both Layla and Cleo committed quite a few missteps, until their friendship reached a rather irreparable point.

I loved the way Woodfolk took me back and forth, between the past and the present. I watched as, bit by bit, this once solid friendship unraveled until the bond was lost forever. Present Cleo spent a lot of time reflecting on what had happened, and what she did wrong, as she tried to rebuild her life without Layla. I felt like I was going through the stages of grief with her, which seemed really appropriate, as the death of a friendship can be such a profound loss for many.

I found myself more sympathetic towards Cleo, since I was always the one left behind, but I also understood Layla's need to stretch her wings. Needless to say, Cleo's loss was deep, but it also led to some wonderful new things for her.

Without Layla to rely on, Cleo began forming new friendships. She found people, who shared her passions, and appreciated her view of the world. She began to push herself, to put herself out there, working in the diner, and even finding some romance. This was not a smooth journey for Cleo. She was wounded and gun-shy. She was struggling with trusting and understanding why these people would want to be her friend. It was parts like these that pained me, but I understood her need for self preservation.

I read another friend breakup story, not too long ago, and I feel like Woodfolk's was more successful for me, because of the amount of time spent on the post mortem part of the relationship. It was also more hopeful, and acknowledged that, though, a relationship had ended, it could still be an important part of your life.

Overall: A relatable story of the demise of a relationship, which was painfully honest, but hopeful.

Rules for Being a Girl
Candance Bushnell, Katie Cotugno
Age/Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary
Publisher: Balzer + Bray
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Goodreads

It starts before you can even remember: You learn the rules for being a girl. . . .

Marin has always been good at navigating these unspoken guidelines. A star student and editor of the school paper, she dreams of getting into Brown University. Marin’s future seems bright―and her young, charismatic English teacher, Mr. Beckett, is always quick to admire her writing and talk books with her.

But when “Bex” takes things too far and comes on to Marin, she’s shocked and horrified. Had she somehow led him on? Was it her fault?

When Marin works up the courage to tell the administration what happened, no one believes her. She’s forced to face Bex in class every day. Except now, he has an ax to grind.

But Marin isn’t about to back down. She uses the school newspaper to fight back and she starts a feminist book club at school. She finds allies in the most unexpected people, like “slutty” Gray Kendall, who she’d always dismissed as just another lacrosse bro. As things heat up at school and in her personal life, Marin must figure out how to take back the power and write her own rules.

Marin was at the top of her game. In the running for valedictorian? Check. Popular, athletic boyfriend? Check. Co-editor of the school newspaper? Check. A shoe-in for acceptance to her dream school, Brown? Check. Everything seemed to be going according to plan, until her English teacher, Bex, made sexual advances towards her.

As she struggled with confusion and guilt over the situation, Marian also had to deal with blowback from reporting such a beloved teacher. As things began to spiral out, Marin became more and more determined to take back some power, and decided to rewrite the rules for being a girl.

This was such a wake up call for Marin, and it prompted her to really examine her life. Her experience opened her eyes up to a world, that had always been there, but she never really noticed. From her boyfriend's passive-aggressive comments to the school's dress code hypocrisy, Marin was fed up with it all. She wanted to see some changes, and she was starting with herself.

As a woman, who went to engineering school in the early 90s, and worked in IT, I am well aware of the rules for being a girl. It's always amazed me how society has conditioned us to accept and conform to these unwritten rules, and I love when they are challenged. The authors did such a wonderful job calling out the double standard, and allowing the characters to thoughtfully explore the issues at hand, while also making this feel like a very honest and realistic journey for a teen girl.

Marin came for a family of fierce women, who I absolutely loved. I felt that fire, when her mother learned about Bex, and her grandmother, my heart, she was phenomenal. There were so many special and meaningful moments shared between Marin, her mother, her grandmother, and her sister, and I loved them all.

I also loved feminist book club. Yes, you heard me. At one point, Marin questioned, why all the books they read were written by not only men, but white men. Instead of getting another one way ticket to the principal's office, Marin channeled that frustration into forming a book club. There, she made new allies and rebuilt her support system. I loved the mix of people, who joined her club, and though they don't get too in depth, many different topics are touched upon during group discussions.

I found myself getting quite fired up as I read this book, and I hope others will too. It's 2020, and books like this still need to be written, which makes me sad, but I am still hopeful, as I have seen things improve, though rather slowly. I think Rules for Being a Girl is a great conversation starter, and I hope it will inspire many open and honest discussions about equality, sexual harassment, and those unwritten social norms we unwittingly subscribe to.

**ARCs received in exchange for honest reviews.

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