This Week’s Topic:
Apology Required?
I felt myself getting a little hot about it, because I don't think anyone needed to defend their choice of reading material. I have seen the same sort of behavior, when people talk about a book that is more fluff than substance. People call them "guilty pleasures", but why do they need to feel guilty?
I remember Tanya talking about this in one of her reviews (back when). She said she refused to call it a "guilty pleasure", but chose the term "brain candy" instead. And, you know what? I applaud her for standing by her choices.
I am an adult YA reader, a lighter side lover, and all about the romance. I feel like I am always being made to justify my reading choices, but gosh darn it! I will not apologize for liking any book. I read, I enjoyed it, and I will not be shamed into feeling bad about it.
Now it's your turn!
Do you feel like you need to justify
or apologize for enjoying certain books?
Let us know in the comments!
or apologize for enjoying certain books?
Let us know in the comments!
Great post! I'm wondering if I was the person who apologized now. Hmm. Yeah, I hate that I feel the need sometimes to do that, but it's like I can't help myself. At the bookstore where I work, when customers want to know what I've read lately, I feel like telling them sorry, I really only read YA and romance, so unless you want to know about those, I can't help. But I think part of the problem is like the Bad Romance event the one library had that everyone is all in an uproar about. People just make you feel like if you read romance, or YA sometimes, that you aren't really reading anything of substance. I hate it! Again, great discussion topic!
ReplyDeleteNo need for self-flagellation, I see a lot of people do this. It's amazing the way society shapes us to apologize for things we don't need to feel bad about, and women are always more guilty of doing this than men. I saw that Bad Romance thread on Twitter. It's so odd to see people, who you will also see touting love and tolerance, going around book shaming people. They act like our reading romance will be the downfall of society.
DeleteAgree. Different people like different books. Big deal.
ReplyDeleteI feel like people have always been this judgmental, but maybe we didn't feel it as much, because we didn't have the constant "eyes" of the internet/social media on us. I wonder if men book-apologize as much as women, because women already apologize too much.
Deletebrain candy...good one. i don't feel the need to apologize. not every book works for every person that reads it.
ReplyDeletesherry @ fundinmental
Truth! But, why do we internalize this and feel the need to say "sorry"? I physically ache every time I see someone do that, because they are being made to feel guilty about enjoying something.
DeleteNope. I don’t need to apologize. They’re just books. Liking fluff isn’t hurting anyone.
ReplyDeleteAj @ Read All The Things!
It's so odd what we are made to feel guilty for. In the grand scheme of things does liking a book really rate high on the list of things to feel bad about? Perhaps you have to question if a person is really into some sort of hate-filled manifesto, but those aren't the times I see this behavior. It is usually for romances, especially alpha romances. I understand that type of hero is not everyone's cup of tea, but like I said, does it require making someone feel bad about it?
DeleteGreat post! It had me wondering if I've ever said sorry myself. The only thing, though, is it would have been sarcastic on my end. LOL! Definitely NOT sorry!
ReplyDeleteIt's ingrained in us to apologize for everything in the day of social media, but I cannot bring myself to do it. Maybe in a sarcastic way...
DeleteUm, first... wow, I can’t believe you even remember me saying that. What a memory you have! :) But I’m so with you on this. There is no way I’m going to apologize for what *I* like. You don’t have to like it. That’s fine. But I read for me. And whether I feel like reading YA or a “bodice ripper” historical or a dark/twisted/pushes all boundaries romance, I’m not going to apologize for it. That’s bizarre to me.
ReplyDeleteI believe you said it about an Abbi Glines book. It was memorable for me, because it has always bothered me that we have to dismiss something we enjoy as a "guilty pleasure", because others would judge us harshly for simply liking it. My reading choices seem to constantly come under fire, but I guess I have reached the DGaF age. I am already made to feel bad about things that are out of my control, I won't feel bad about reading a book.
DeleteI feel this way too! I use to feel guilty about reading YA all the time and even was sort of embarrassed to talk about which books I was reading when family or friends would ask but, I've (thankfully) gotten past that now (for the most part!). I mean, who cares. I'm not hurting anyone or condoning any bad behaviors or anything else that might seem like I should feel guilty, so why feel guilty?
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting to me, that people make such a big deal out of adults reading YA, when most of the YA books are written by adults. So, I am technically reading the work of my peers. Even if the books are not directly marketed to me, I can glean something from them, because there are certain themes we encounter over and over again in our lives, and those are present in YA book too. And, your last sentence speaks volumes, reading the book is not causing harm or promoting anything. I would like to think those types of books don't get the mass market treatment.
DeleteAs a person that's guilty of this, this is so encouraging! <3
ReplyDeleteYou are not alone. I think I used to do it too, but as I get older, I become more of a rebel.
DeleteI don't think as a reader we should have to apologize for liking something we read. Everyone has different tastes and just because it isn't something that I might not pick up on my own doesn't mean that someone else wouldn't and love it. That's why there are so many genres to chose from.
ReplyDeleteI agree, we don't need to apologize, but why do we do it? What is it that compels some readers to carry guilt for liking a perfectly legal book, that had been approved by someone for public consumption?
DeleteI'm getting way too old to care what people think about anything I do (unless it's kicking kittens) lol
ReplyDeleteGo forth and read or do whatever brings you joy these days.
Karen @ For What It's worth
This is what I was thinking about myself. You reach the age of IDGaF. Once your friends start dying, you start to grab your happy, where you can get it, while you can get it.
DeleteLove this! I hate that people feel bad about the books they read. I mean, you're reading! You know how many people don't read at all? It's such a great hobby and I don't care what you read. Enjoy what you enjoy. :)
ReplyDelete-Lauren
www.shootingstarsmag.net
but, they feel bad, because other people make them feel that way. The public dictates a lot of what we think is ok or not ok, but I want to embrace my free thinker side more.
DeleteI agree with you. We should never apologize for our reading tastes. Honestly, I am all over the map and I love a nice light read. It is a good palette cleanser after reading something a bit challenging. Actually, a lot of themes in YA and romance novels can be quite deep, so it is kind of a moot point. ;)
ReplyDeleteI appreciate that many will like or not like the books I read, and that's ok. I don't believe in the crusades you see against books, because I found an issue with it, because all of that is very subjective. There was a whole lot of drama on book twitter this week about an OwnVoices book being labeled "damaging" by a reader. Some of the responses seemed apologetic in nature. Like, "wow, I can't believe I read that. Have to go change my rating." Why!!! And, don't even get me started on people who dismiss entire genres of books, because, as you said, depth can be found in all genres.
DeleteThe look I get when I tell people I read/review/blog about romance? Surprise and then awkward silence. Its annoying.
ReplyDeleteI will never understand why romance has become such a villain. I think it's because the genre is mostly enjoyed by women. Yep, I went there.
DeleteHm. I used to do this — apologize for something that isn’t brainy enough whether it’s a book or a movie or show. I think I stopped for the most part but i know it’s still
ReplyDeleteIn me to apologise sometimes. You’re right; no one should apologise for the things they like
I would never measure someone's intelligence by the type of entertainment they enjoy. Sometimes one needs to shut-off for a bit, and enjoy something fun or inane. I know the same sort of stigma exists in the film world, but wonder if people need to apologize for the type of TV shows they enjoy?
DeleteBravo. I remember being almost afraid to say how much I loved The Twilight books. They are what made me start reading the genre and I will always be glad of that. I read every genre and proud of it:)
ReplyDeleteI never read the books, but I saw all the Twilight movies with my daughter. Again, harmless, but a big deal was made about liking them. I suppose there are people, who might pick up something negative from these books/films, but that can happen with anything. Read your books with pride!
DeleteSadly, young adult fiction is not something that is considered literature, especially in uni - at least that's my experience. However, I will not apologize for reading it. In a matter of fact, I will write essays and papers on it and gush about YA at every chance I get. =P
ReplyDeleteI need to get my hands on Burn. Happy readings!
Universities are definitely a place, where you get bombarded with opinions, and they tend towards the highbrow stuff. I am glad you are still using your voice to gush about things you enjoy. Is Burn part of the Breathless series?
DeleteI definitely agree with you - I love romance, and I hate it when people call it (or other lighter genres, novels) guilty pleasures. Obviously, it's their choice, and it's okay, but it rubs me the wrong way. Why should we be made to feel guilty about enjoying a certain type of book? Why should we justify our love for these novels and either (1) sell them as "it's MORE than your regular romance" or "I hate romance, but this one books is A+" - which is something I see A LOT, or (2) essentially drag them and say they're just guilty pleasure reads. Same about YA Contemporary, or even Horror, Thriller and Mystery for that matter, all of which I've seen called "less" than other genres. Wonderful discussion!
ReplyDeleteI remember seeing Cora Carmack talking about how "I don't usually like romance, but..." can seem like a compliment, but can also rub the wrong way, and I totally agreed with her (and you). I shouldn't have to justify why I like something. I hate the whole idea that one genre is superior to another, because it all really comes down to personal tastes, and if the "tastemakers" changed their mind tomorrow, where would everyone be?
DeleteI love the term brain candy. People can definitely be pretty judgmental when it comes to adults reading YA. The looks I've gotten while browsing the YA section of a book store or library piss me off. Like I have to justify why I'm there.
ReplyDeleteYeah, Tanya better trademark it. LOL. Exactly! It isn't like you're trolling the YA department to pick up young children, you just like the book. It's sort of the same as adults, who see animated films, which are geared towards children. How come nobody comments on that ad nauseam?
DeleteI'd say I'm pretty unapologetic about what I read and why I like it but I do use the term guilty pleasure. You've got me contemplating the why of that now...
ReplyDeleteI'd say it's not because I feel guilty about reading or enjoying something but because I recognise that a lot of people won't necessarily understand why I enjoy it and I generally cannot be bothered to explain it to them or have the "debate". However, that logic can't be applied to my book blog as people like yourself don't need the "whys" of romance reading explained to them and don't judge people's reading choices. (That would be the snooty snoots I deal with in the real world and only occasionally online, lol.) From this perspective, I'd be much better off using Tanya's Brain Candy (or brain fluff which I also like to use) instead of defaulting to "guilty pleasure". :)
We are conditioned to feel bad for enjoying things that are considered "low brow", and I'm saying it, right now, I will not feel bad, guilty, or any other negative thing for enjoying something. I think that's why we do what we do. We want a space, where we can talk about the things we like, and don't have to explain ourselves, because our people simply understand.
DeleteI don't think I've ever apologized for or had to justify reading a particular book. I like what I like, and reading is reading! I tend to read a broad range of things, so I wouldn't even consider something a "guilty pleasure." I've started to read more romance, but it seems to be so popular and mainstream now that I don't think anyone would take a second glance if they saw me reading it.
ReplyDeleteRomance still gets the brunt of literary criticism. I have seen so many reviews, which mention how the romance element in the story just ruined it. People just have a thing about it. I think it's because more women than men read romance, and you know know, internalized misogyny and all that.
DeleteI do feel like we are judged for our reading preferences as romance readers, but I don;'t think we need to apologize for what we like. The classics, and literature are definitely valued more and the connotation that comes with reading those types of books is that you're more of an intellect. I enjoy New Adult Romance, angsty romance, bully romance, and taboo romance. Those types of books can be judged pretty harshly. I love your discussion post and think it is a topic that always be relevant with bloggers and readers. Like you, I think people should be allowed to enjoy whatever books they like without being criticized or judged for it.
ReplyDeleteLindy@ A Bookish Escape
Lindy@ A Bookish Escape
Amen, Lindy! I like NA too, which probably gets the most harsh treatment, when it comes to romance. If something is not for me, I tend to just stay out of the conversation. I didn't mean for this to be like a previous post I did, about letting people like things, but it ties to it, I suppose. I wondered more, why we feel the need to apologize. It's sad to see how conditioned we have become to certain behaviors, but I refuse to apologize for things that require no apology
DeleteThis is so interesting. I think if I've ever said sorry, it's more of a "sorry not sorry" sort of way. I don't feel bad about my reading tastes, but I get that my tastes may not be for everyone.
ReplyDeleteNicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction
Yes! *high five* That's the way it should be. I get so frustrated, when people over apologize. Like, when you are walking, and someone comes towards you and you have to pause. Almost every woman will apologize, and I won't, because I did nothing wrong, yet we are led to believe that we NEED to apologize. That's what I think happened with books too. We were convinced, but some tastemakers, that we shouldn't enjoy a certain kind of book, and then we let ourselves sully our pleasure with this. I am glad you do not subscribe to this.
DeleteI like the term brain candy and can think of some books where the term definitely applies to me. I think, you don't have to apologise for anything you enjoy reading or liking a book! However, I do tend to give a bit of disclaimer when I talk about loving Twilight. I just want people to know that I recognise how problematic the relationship and some of the ideas of the books are -- and I want to warn people of that ahead of time -- but I also do want to share about how much I shamelessly love the books too.
ReplyDeleteI think it's hilarious how many times Twilight has come up today. You know, it was a best seller. It might not have been high art, but it entertained A LOT of people, so it did its job. Problematic is problematic, because that's another thing that can be really subjective (for many cases)
DeleteI used to get a lot of negativity many years back for loving zombie books or not liking a popular book so I can relate to you getting the same for romance books. You know the comments like 'I can't believe you hated that book as I loved it!' or 'How can you like that rubbish?' I never use the phrases like guilty pleasure or brain candy-it's a book I want to read and that's the only way I describe it. I will NOT say sorry for my reading choices or likes and dislikes. I read for my own enjoyment, not for approval by other people! I hate seeing readers judge other readers for the genres they read. I love horror and apocalypse in the way you love YA and romance and nobody has the right to try and look down on our choices!
ReplyDeleteThat's right! No need to seek approval. I just find it frustrating, that some readers have been driven to feel like that cannot enjoy something, because others feel it's too lowbrow or "problematic"
DeleteI feel the same Sam! I even wrote that article about romance authors not being subpar writers as it would also mean that we, readers, are also subpar and we'd have to justify our choices!!!
ReplyDeleteMy question is more why do we feel the need to do this? Why are we conditioned to feel like our tastes require a disclaimer, more so than the commentary on romance. I see adult readers apologize for reading YA, and others for reading fluff or space opera. It's the fact that we are made to feel like we shouldn't that or that there was something wrong with it, that rubbed me the wrong way
DeleteI think that I am pretty unapologetic about what I read. Of course, I am old enough that I don't really care what anyone thinks of me anymore :) I have had people assume that since I am a woman then I would only read romance. I recently asked a relative who love to read what she liked to read because I was hoping to give her a few books. The way she told me she didn't read romance made me think she thought poorly of those that did. I just said that I enjoy a good romance and moved on. I think that anyone that looks down on romance hasn't read the right romances!
ReplyDeleteCould be true. I do think there are many different kinds of romances out there, and there has to be something appealing about it. Do these people avoid all movies and TV shows with romance? I wonder if the distaste is saved for books, but allowed in other media.
DeleteThis is a habit that I need to break. Sometimes I do it without even realizing that I do it to be honest. I have gotten to the point where i don't care if someone sees the cover of a book I read or something. But other things like apologizing or justifying certain tropes or genres in romance. Yes I am guilty as charged and I need to be better about that.
ReplyDeleteYou are not alone, but I am glad you are getting to the point of not hiding your covers. I love it!
DeleteYou know, I remember reading a post, perhaps it was even Tanya's, where the person refused to apologize, and it stuck with me because I try *very* hard to not use the "guilty pleasure" phrase. I will think about that even when I read a book that was entertaining, even if it wasn't some flawless literary achievement, you know? But I think it is total crap that people judge romance readers (and I agree, they do). Like I know I have shared why I stay away from romances, but that is just because i am bitter, it's not at ALL the fault of the genre! I love this post- it's such a great reminder to all of us that we do NOT have to apologize- unless we're supporting that kitty kicker you mentioned, that we may have to answer for ;)
ReplyDeleteFor me, it's all about entertainment - that's why I read. I am not studying literature, nor did I ever, but I am looking for something that makes my life a little bit better. Don't worry, it's all true, that when you get older, you apologize less.
DeleteI have certainly felt judged for reading MG, YA, and horror, but hopefully I haven't felt the need to apologize for it. I love what I read!
ReplyDeleteAmen! Read it with pride, that's what I always say.
DeleteBrain candy is such a great term. I'm going to start using it.
ReplyDeleteMaybe Tanya will TM it.
DeleteI have seem more of the opposite where people apologize for not liking a popular book. There are some popular book that I'm going to dislike no matter what. I not going to apologize for that, nor am I going to apologize for liking a book.
ReplyDeleteI have seen that a lot too, but I agree with you, we are entitled to our opinions either way. Sometimes I feel like there's something wrong with me, when I cannot figure out what everyone is raving about, but I never feel bad about not liking it.
DeleteI used to be ashamed that I read romance, but now I no longer hide it. I think there are so many negative stereotypes and so much disdain placed on romance, that when I was younger I thought I was actually doing something wrong. Now I realize there's nothing wrong, and I treat my romance reads as I would any other genre. But I think some people might still feel shame when it comes to romance, and therefore feel the need to apologize.
ReplyDeleteIt's terrible that you were made to feel as though you were doing something wrong. I don't only see this with romance. It seems like anything considered "low brow" by the powers that be is something I should feel guilty for reading, but it won't happen.
Delete